We’ve all done it. At some point we have apologized for something we haven’t even said yet. “I’m sorry , but….” or “I hope you don’t mind me saying…”.
The cause of most worry, stress and anxiety is attachment, our attachment to the outcome we are seeking. We personally invest ourselves in the effect our words may have or the effect we want them to have.
It gets even more complicated in the digital world of text messages, emails, posts. But it’s important to let go of the attachment to our own words. And it’s one of the hardest things to really do.
It’s taken me a really long time to stop trying to craft what I say or write because I am cautious of eliciting a certain response because it really is impossible to predict how someone else will react to those words.
This is what I have learned to remember when I start self-editing or pre-emptively apologizing for what I need to say:
Speak from the heart but with a clear mind. Then let the words go and just listen. Stop worrying about how the comments are perceived and open up to hearing the other person. Give up the need to appear favorable to others. Not everything said will always be pleasant, it may be painful or discerning, but if it’s honest and without judgement, it’s the best that can be done.